are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh god the rape fog is back!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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