I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
