I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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