There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
