did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize