my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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