Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I want her autograph on my taint
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
