Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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