dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
