dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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