Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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