No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
