The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
