Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
