I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you never un-have a 4some
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
