i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
