I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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