I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
How's work?
Spinning.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
