Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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