Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
