you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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