it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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