yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
