there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
