no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
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