i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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