3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize