yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
