:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
