dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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