Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
