listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
