My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
