1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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