I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
