Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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