my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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