The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
