Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
