i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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