Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
