I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
