ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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