where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
