They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
