Someone shit on the floor
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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