Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
