How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
being pregnant is like rehab
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
