I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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