I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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