Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
