So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
