If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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