bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
