She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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