I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
