TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
