I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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