fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize