Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
